Confused

Sometimes I don't know what to say. To say, to think, to feel. There's so much going on right now in my life and around me that I don't even know what to focus on. It's like I'm being pulled in so many directions all at once that I don't know what to do.

So I do nothing. I just try to shove everything to the side thinking "oh I'll deal with it later." But later never comes and the more I don't deal with things the more the things build up and the more stressed and worried and nervous and confused I get.

There's this image in my head of trying to run a race where there's hurdles all along the track. It's actually easier to jump over the hurdles like they're intended but I have a fear that if I jump I won't make it over. So each time I reach one I slow down and move the hurdle off the track and out of my way. But that slows me down so much, and really takes so much more effort. I need to learn to jump. Sure the first few times I might miss and bang my knee but eventually I'll get the hang of it and it'll be worth it in the long run.

Does any of that make sense? I'm sorry it's so confusing and there isn't any context, I'm just trying to get words down to help put my thoughts in order. But maybe you can relate to the feeling?

DFTBA,

-Kim